“Anatomy of Upset; Restoring Harmony”


“Anatomy of Upset; Restoring Harmony”


One might think he needs to know everything about everything to be able to write a book, never less a book about human emotions, such as upset. I can tell you with confidence that I do not know everything about everything; not even close. Actually, after many years of studying, reading, writing, learning and developing many courses, programs and workshops, working with tens of thousands individuals and many organizations and teams, I came to realize that “I don’t know anything”. When I look back, I can see all of my life’s troubles started and developed because “I knew” something that was not really so! I have developed the courage to admit it, to own it and to become responsible for all upsets around me. Now I know both where and how I have created upsets for others and myself around my life.

What I learned is: who I am, what I do, and the way I do it, all depends on who I am being for myself and on my point of view of life. I learned to keep relating to myself as the power, and possibility, that I can be. Through this thought process, I will regenerate as I go through life dealing with resignation and despair.

I learned that life would bring me lots of pain and suffering without my own personal contributions. I should pay attention to bringing some fun, joy and play to my life. I learned the fact that my past is over and gone. I also learned that my future is not here yet. At this moment, in the present I, as an adult, a fully functioning human being, can be responsible for my reaction to the upsetting events of my life. I learned that we love to complain about everything that is happening to us every day and point our fingers of blame. We forget that we are the cause of all our complaints.

I learned that in the physical universe, the only thing we can manage is what we are doing at this exact moment, and follow through with our plan to the end. After many years when we look back, suddenly we have built a future. I learned, and experienced, that it is up to me not to allow ignorance to get the better of me. I learned that there are no limits on human genius and creativity. There are no limits on the possibilities generated and invented from human thinking. I learned to look at each corner of my life and think differently each time I am looking at it.

Through the years that I paid heavily for upsets I had created in my life, I learned that we all live our lives by default. We just wake up every morning by default and go through the difficulties of our emotions, our feelings, expectations and interpretations. We just go through the motions. What most of us forget is that everyone around can be influenced by those decisions and actions. I learned that investing in my personal development continues to be one of the best investments I could make in my lifetime.

Upsets are a unique human experience and like any other aspect of our humanity; we all have many of them. All of us have experienced upsets, we regret having them, we have our reactions to them and we resent having them pointed out to us. We feel judged by ourselves and by others for having them.

Start living and enjoying these days! Be productive, be active and at the same time pay attention to all of life’s details around you. Pay attention to what upsets you. Ask yourself “Why am I getting upset?” Moreover, what is your part in it? I promise you, when you get present to your role in it and when you get present to your power to generate your own life experiences, you will notice the colors you have missed in your garden. You will notice you have missed the beautiful lines on the face of someone you love and the reflection of the lights and colors in the sky. I promise you have not heard the whispers of your loved ones, or listened to them the way you could have. Live now! There is no tomorrow, you only have right now!

Being upset is ordinary and making others upset is also ordinary. Have you noticed how ordinary is becoming the norm? Unfortunately, it is something that society has accepted as the way of being. Almost nobody pushes himself, or herself, forward. The people around them are not willing to get tough with them, accepting nothing but excellence from each other. On the other hand, extraordinary becomes abnormal. Some people look at you like you are from planet Mars, when you are speaking with passion and when you stand for something. Even when you are not willing to be small and ordinary, when you are trying to be responsible for your own parts in any upsetting situation. So call me crazy and abnormal but that is what I want to be, extraordinary, and that is what YOU can be by managing and controlling your part of creating upset.

When we gain understanding around our emotions, expectations, and experiences we are very close to gaining the level of mastery required to being present to what is real about our upsets. To have access to such mastery and freedom is to understand the machinery of our emotions, to observe the automation of expectations and the process of our decisions, we need to access the “Anatomy of Upset”.

I hope you enjoy reading this book as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Be well.

Behnam Bakhshandeh



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~ by CoachBehnam on November 30, 2015.

One Response to ““Anatomy of Upset; Restoring Harmony””

  1. The truth will always set you free. For me, extraordinary usually takes me out of my comfort zone, standing my ground has a price. It has always been worth it and more.
    Thank You Behnam!

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